For some reason, I've finally begun reading gain. Looks like the army has not sapped all my brains yet after all...

You know the Beijing Olympics is coming up in 3 years.

Its remarkable how the Olympics have evolved over the years.

Now young men and women all over the world vye for the glory of the coveted Olympic medal.

They shed blood and tears and even resort to unnatural means to achieve their golds.

But even so, the Olympics just isn't the games it was when it started with the Greeks.

One of the games the Greeks had in olden times was boxing.

Sounds harmless enough? Not till you do it the Greek way. Here's the horrible historical history of Creugas and Damoxenos.

In the Olympic Heavyweight championship some one thousand years ago, Damoxenos the Dark Destroyer Beat the challenger Creugas... and lost the title.

2000 people gathered outside the arena on the afternoon sunshine grass to enjoy a fight to the end, and what a fight it was.

Big Damoxenos was booed as he came onto the arena with his leather cuffs round his hands while the handsome Creugas was cheered as he stepped forward.

The Referee explained the rules clearly stepped back and in a huge climactic start to the fight of the millenium, shouted the order "BOX".

Damoxenos lunged forward and swung his fist like a might hammer at Creugas, but he young and agile Creugas swiftly dodged and parried each of Damoxenos blows.

The fight continued on till the sun set and the crowd grew restless and the referee called for a halt to the match.

"We cannot have a draw" he cried "The contest will be decided by a single blow to be struck by each man.

The crowd seemd to like that and closed in for a better view.

'You go first wimp' said Dmoxenos to Creugas..

Creugas lifted his heavy leather bound hands, and with the crowd hloding their breath he struck a blow to the huge Dark warriors head.

The Big man just laughed- "My Turn"

Creugas braced himself for the blow that would've surely knocked him out.

He held his breath as Damoxenos cruelly drew back his hand and jabbed Creugas below the ribs with straight finers.

His sharp fingernails tore through Creugas's flesh . Damoxenos pulled back his hand and jabbed again this time pulling out Creugas's entrails.

The crowd gasped as Creugas fell lifeless and gutted to the ground.

The ref ran forward and said. "One blow is all that's allowed. You took 2 blows Damoxeno you cheat, you are disqualified. Creugas is the Champion!"

The crowd cheered with joy.

Creugas's Manager said, 'The boy's done well. Deserved thats win. We'll have a few drinks later to celebrate"

The new champ was unfortunately unavailable for comment.

Creugas will always be remembered as one of the greates boxing champions in Greek History.

Now there's a man who had guts...
by: Leo @ 12:09 AM | 1 comments

It's taken me some time, but I think I finally gatheed the brains that have been so robbed of me to finally come up with a coherent entry.

I looked through the newspapers recently and all of a sudden there's this big hoo-ha about blogs nowadays.

Blogs here, blogs there. Blog's not being private but publice space, blah blah blah...

In fact, there was one whole feature in the Sunday times about a prominent blogger... A FULL HALF PAGE FEATURE!

If you had asked me about blogs about a year ago, I'd have dismissed it aas poppycock, a passing fad... But now, Its a little different...

Yes, blogs, make people famous, blogs make them infamous, but there's no doubt about it, blogs have power.

Blogs are no longer merely the expressed opinion of an individual, now its the espression of a consensus of collective individuals.

Blogs can influence, influence people and other bloggers.

Its not the expression of a single person's views anymore, its the views of the world, global opinion.

The power that bloggers hold in their hand is unprecedented and dangerously underestimated.

Authorities know this, governments knows this and as far as I see, it would do them good to keep blogs as benign and trivial as they can.

So readers out there, know this. Blogs are a new way of life, they are the new speaker's corner, the new propaganda machine.

Blogging is power...
by: Leo @ 11:52 PM | 0 comments

The jungle is an interesting place...

Believe me... I just spent a whole week in there... And it sucked...

This wasn't ODAC, it wasn't some simple expedition, there was no bonfire to gather round and sing songs...

This was just sick...

I've never imagined the SAF as a really stupid organisation till this point of time...

Outdated techniques, inflexible doctrines, really dumb modus operandi... Man... Singapore better hope they don't ever have a war.
by: Leo @ 7:06 PM | 0 comments

Hmm... you know, being locked up for so long really works up a craving for certain civilian foods...

Today, I had a sudden craving for a Mcdonald's burger.

Of course, went out to my friendly neighbourhood Mcdonalds and qued up for one.

And right behind me... guess who I saw?

Colonel Sanders!!! Or at least his imprint...

The Girl behind me was wearing a KFC attendant's uniform...

Hmm that's weird... Guess what was weirder?

Looking around a lil more, there were 3 others in the same KFC uniform...

Waiddaminute.. weren't these guys supposed to be rivals?

You now... the great franchise war and all?

KFC vs Mcdonalds?

Pepsi vs Coca Cola?

Lindsey Lohan vs Hilary Duff?

America vs the world?

Man... This is nuts...

I spend 5 weeks in the Army and strange things happen... Now KFC is ordering stuff from Mc's!!!!

Worse still... those cool black shirts on Mcdonal's staff are gone... I swear, those new uniform's on the Mc's attendants look like the old downward stripes of KFC's!!!

Man... I just don't get it....
by: Leo @ 2:35 AM | 0 comments

It was a starry night...

The night sky was clear and the crescent above us beamed bright bathing the ground with its alluring cool blue rays.

Orange flames from lit candles lent to the spooky yet enticing atmosphere.

There she lay in front of me, clad seductively in a layer of oil, butt faced towards me as if calling me to her.

I had been waiting for this night for a long time, ever since I entered puberty.

It was my call to manhood, no longer would I be a boy.

All these years, I had wondered how it woould be like, how I would react when my turn came.

WOuld I fumble?

Would I make a wrong move?

Worse, would I hurt her?

Then the moment of truth came....

























"RECRUIT NG WEI TAT LEONARD!" shouted my Platoon Sergeant.

"SIR!" I reciprocated...

Instinctively, I raised my arms to my armpits, as I had rehearsed many times before.

With quick military precision I doubled up to my Platoon Commander and yelled into the thick night air... "GOOD EVENING SIR!"

With outstrectched hands, he handed me my rifle, My M16, Butt Number 133...

"Take good care of her" He tld me...

"YES SIR! THANK YOU SIR!" I answered as I yanked the rifle with conviction from him...

I was now a man, married to my M16....
by: Leo @ 9:34 PM | 0 comments

My FNG (F***ing New Guy) Phase is over... Now I'm known as SFNG (Senior F***ing New Guy). The New FNGs are just booking in.

Of curse, that earns us a few extra midle fingers from the sergeants... But that's ok... Cos we book out every week while those new FNG soddy bastards can't.

I wish I could share a few Stories about my time served so far... Unfortunately I'll be charged for divulging restricting information... And well, that's not very nice.

So in clean, unrestricted summary... here's NS so far...

3 things you should never screw around with... Weapons, Women and Money.
Lose your rifle you get seven years imprisonment.
Stare at a woman in the army to long or whatever and you get your pants charged for sexual harassment.
Not your money, don't touch it... You don't want to know what happens if you do that.

Don't screw around with a close combat instructor... Really don't... They will destroy you...

Don't screw around with a Fitness specialist... Remember, he's fitter than you...

Don't screw around with a Company Sergeant Major... They might bite yor ears off or worse, confine you.

If you're not mad, don't pretend to be. Its the fastest way to get charged for malingering. And thats not very nice...

When you write your name, always write in CAPITAL letters. Sign only youre SPECIMEN signature and oif you have to sign within a box. NEVER EVER EVER TOUCH THE SIDES OF THE BOX WITH YOUR PENSTROKES. NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER DO THAT! The SAF doesn't like that... And when the SAF doesn't like that they make you re-sign your name. And to do that you need a new piece of paper. That means every one who has signed has to re-sign. And that doesn't make you very popular.

If you're gay... Act straight... Enough said.

Run for the toilet every morning. It won't always be there.

If you try to commit suicide... Make sure you succeed. You'll get charged if you don't die. And worse, you don't get insurance payments.

Volunteering in the army is bad.

Being on guard duty is bad.

Tekong water is bad.

Tekong air is bad.

Tekong bugs are bad.

Tekong is bad.

Serving NS means three things. No freedom, No girls, No money...

Ever wondered what SAF stands for? Serve And F*** Off. Oh shit... I may be charged for this...
by: Leo @ 11:05 AM | 0 comments

Back from Singapore's Alcatraz....

Training's easy... Its living there that sucks...

2 weeks is no joke... Tekong cough, heat rash, sore throat, cough.... Man 2 weeks seems like 2 years...

But I'm back in the mainland now... Back at last...

I've met a couple of really interesting people there... Nice people, not so nice people, strange people, weird people, really really weird people you name it, they're there... But those are stories for another day.

For now, here's just a tip about the army...

Life is simple there, you don't even need to hear what the sergeant or officers are saying. Just yell, "YES SERGEANT" and do whatever the hell the rest are doing....

Don't be first, dont be last...

Try not to piss everyone off...

Don't break any rules... Everything is a chargeable offence. (as in chargeable in a military tribunal, which is not very funny)

Master the use of vulgarities before entering. (My Company Sergeant Major can do a full 16 word vulgarity. Recruits should be happy being able to do a maximum of 7 words)

Make sure you know the SAF core values

Loyalty to country
Discipline
Leadership
Professionalism
Fighting spirit
Ethics
Care for Soldiers
and especially the unwritten 8th core value
Do whatever you want, but don't get caught

Work on Murphy's law (my personal favourite life guiding principal)
"Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong"

Murphy's Military Laws
Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than you are.
No battle plan ever survives contact with the enemy.
Friendly fire ain't.
The most dangerous thing in the combat zone is an officer with a map.
The problem with taking the easy way out is that the enemy has already mined it.
The buddy system is essential to your survival; it gives the enemy somebody else to shoot at.
The further you are in advance of your own positions, the more likely your artillery will shoot short.
Incoming fire has the right of way.
If your advance is going well, you are walking into an ambush.
The quartermaster has only two sizes, too large and too small.
If you really need an officer in a hurry, take a nap.
The only time suppressive fire works is when it is used on abandoned positions.
The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.
There is nothing more satisfying that having someone take a shot at you, and miss.
Don't be conspicuous. In the combat zone, it draws fire. Out of the combat zone, it draws sergeants.

And that's that...
by: Leo @ 3:04 AM | 0 comments